Is Scrooging Your Boss Legal?

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Visiting your boss with your friends dressed as ghosts, while your coworkers and their families prepare to do sad enactments of what their lives could be like on Christmas Eve…it’s what Gen Z is calling “Scrooging.”

But is it harmless fun? Or a one way ticket to a holiday vacation in jail?

Before we discuss whether it is legal to take part in this ethical alignment strategy, let’s talk about it’s history.

“Scrooging” has its origins reach all the way back to 1843 when it was invented by literary pop star and total dreamboat Charles Dickens.

At the time, the British were trying to colonize Christmas itself, so Chuck decided to write a new Christmas story that would change holiday episodes of TV shows forever by writing a totally bitchin’ story inspired by his youth that is downright Dickensian! I guess it’s hard not to be radicalized when your dad goes to debtor prison and you have to pawn your books to make ends meet. He was Communist before it was cool!

Ebenezer Scrooge was a generic business man who could only get a chub by demoralizing poor people and their special needs kids. Then one night, he is visited by a series of ghosts which scare the ever living fuck out of him and make him feel the Christmas spirit. Presumably he was back to “humbugging”* and securing his wealth and off shore accounts by Boxing Day, but it ends on a high note involving a strange boy getting him a goose.

So now that Baby Boomers have destroyed society and the economy to the point of creating an entire generation of ass-eating, credit-score-scoffing mega-nihilists with TikTok accounts, Gen Z had decided to start doing this to their employers just for kicks. None of them actually expect any payoff because everyone has had all of their empathy cells depleted to the point that caring for the others is a sign of weakness and will get you humbugged by an ether rag sniffing degenerate who hasn’t paid legitimate taxes since the Carter administration.

So is this controversial way to spend your time ethical? *shrug* What even IS ethics? I have watched all the way through The Good Place multiple times and I still don’t know. Trying to help a person understand another’s point of view without demanding they debate you on social media isn’t really in vogue this century, but considering the original intention was for Scrooge to realize that there was more to life than money and by embracing the human condition and understand the plight of his employees, he would start to derive more pleasure from life, we can assume these misguided attempts to change the mind of a rich person were done with the best of intentions. So…yes?

So with that in mind, is it legal?

No. You will be prosecuted for break and entering, probably a form of terrorism, and certainly theft. The theft charges will be false accusations as your intended target decides to use this as part of an insurance scam to make a claim on some things in their house that they have now hidden in one of their under-the-floorboard safes, but they are rich, so the police will side with them. You will basically be sold to the highest bidding for profit prison, which your target may or may not be invested in.

And while you will be spending time in a maximum security prison for an extended period and the person you attempted to “scrooge” will have learned nothing, at least it will be funny to run around their house rattling chains and telling them that if they don’t change their ways, they will die sad and alone. BECAUSE THEY WILL!

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Bah Humbug and Merry Christmas!

_{*Humbugging – deriving sexual pleasure by pointing out to others how miserable they should actually be}