Do I Owe Tom DeLonge An Apology?

Where are youuu?

In current news that is relatively easy to miss because everything keeps happening at the same time, the Pentagon declassified some videos of UFOs that were leaked a few years back and confirmed that they were real. You can check them out HERE. Most people have been split in their reaction with, “I knew it!” or “This is just a distraction!” or “NOT RIGHT NOW, MAN!”

Just to be clear, a UFO doesn’t mean alien. It just means they don’t know what they fuck they are looking at. Which opens up a whole lot of questions about who is out there doing wild shit in aircraft that the government isn’t acknowledging they know exists…if it isn’t aliens. I mean, they may acknowledge them, but not in a way that they have told the general public or even the Navy pilots that were shitting their pants because they thought they were either having the best or worst day at work. I’m not here to perpetuate any conspiracy theories, I’m just saying that officially, they are not “identified.”

But they got themselves in a position where they were just like, “Fine! This isn’t from the next Tom Cruise movie!” And we can thank Tom DeLonge for that.

Those videos were put out there thanks to a company that the former member of Blink 182 co-founded called To the Stars Academy. They want to declassify information about “advanced aerospace vehicles of unknown origins.” Which is a pretty tight way to say UFOs while trying to make sure people don’t walk away from you as you try to hand them a pamphlet.

Tom was apparently thinking, “What if I get together with some scientists and former members of the CIA and see what happens?” Holy shit. This whole time, I thought he just started taking himself too seriously and didn’t want to go back to singing songs about dicks and farts. Which I will fully admit to having spent a lot of time and money in my youth to see him do.

Look…I really don’t know shit about what they are doing. I won’t pretend because this happened it means anything at all. It’s just…interesting. Truth be told, I wanted to see how batshit insane the whole thing was when they announced that Declassified show that Tom was going to be part of. And while the first time he pops up is a little jarringly funny, there comes a point where you start to get uncomfortable because it is being taken VERY seriously.

So, Tom, I guess good work? For a minute I thought about following through on the Invest Now button on the website, just because. But then I saw that the minimum numbers of shares you can buy is 70. We all know he wanted it to be 69 and the level of legitimacy they are trying to project by not making that the minimum is immensely disappointing.

But what do I know? I’m a dude in his 30s who stills listens to Dude Ranch regularly, so I clearly can’t be trusted.

We could now have fully confirmed videos of aliens checking out the neighborhood or be getting a sneak peek at some DARPA shit that will eventually be used when aliens check out the neighborhood, I assume. I don’t know if aliens exist, but I do know that it would be weird for us to be the most intelligent lifeforms to be formed after the explosion that became the universe. That would actually be fucked up. We’re the worst.

Anyways, here’s a 10 hour loop of Tom’s verse from “I Miss You”:

My record is 15 minutes before it just becomes too ridiculous to go on.

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