Asteroid Fly-Bys Are Our New Kink

Back around Valentine’s Day, a bunch of articles popped up fear mongering people into concerns about an asteroid looking to give us a relatively close shave. I got really excited and had a word boner over it. Check it out here: Saint Valentine’s Day Space Massacre.

Good News/Bad News situation with that. Good news: WE SURVIVED! Bad news: we survived. EVEN BETTER NEWS? It keeps happening.

These, “Just so you know, we are hurtling through space with other objects that are moving at different speeds and trajectories and, quick sidenote, every body in space you are aware of is shaped by non-stop collisions since gravity and cooling made them congeal!” articles seem to be more prevalent these days. I’ve seen them before, but websites are looking to drop a reminder about how fragile the stability of Earth is any chance they get. And why is that? Because we click on the articles. (I am obviously guilty of this. As shown by the fact that I have written about this twice.) It’s just plain working. There is so much disaster and information flying at everyone at all times, it’s really difficult to not want to take a look at an article and find out if we can just take a break.

At least this time around, some news sources are including in the title that it’s still chill. Like this CNN article with a really catchy tune of a title: Large asteroid will fly by the Earth next month, but won’t hit us, reassures NASA.

I also really dig that this one has a link to NASA’s Sentry: Earth Impact Monitoring data. It’s a really great way to pretend like you understand how math works.

But in the past three weeks, I think the sentiment has changed, just like the titles. Three weeks ago, people were concerned about how close it was and what it meant. Now they are like, “Great! I can stop washing my hands after pissing again!”

Between worries if the coronavirus is the overdue pandemic that will thin the herd and non-stop political coverage, panic has settled into thoughts of just getting it over with. People are letting the nihilism waves wash over them and I don’t blame them.

If you see more of these articles, take notice where they are coming from and how quickly they mention the actual probability we will be hit. And if everyone starts reporting at the same time to pucker your butts, then you can panic or let out a sigh of relief. Whatever works best for you.

Real quick, while I have you: I have a couple of things lined up for this site soon, but they take some time to put together with some research I want to do. In the meantime, I am going to try and post some short stuff along the way to make sure that if anyone gives a fuck, they have something to give a fuck about. If anyone wants to participate in some Q&A posts, it would be greatly appreciated. Random questions, life advice, whatever you want a response to without much actual resolution on my end, please send them on over. And it can be anonymous, if you would prefer.

To do that, send an email to ElectricDraculaInquiries@gmail.com and prepare to be underwhelmed!